A Momentary Friendship
by Brekah
Summary: While recovering in Huerta Memorial, Kaidan has the chance to make a new friend. (The 1st chapter takes place before Kaidan's first email to Shepard; the 2nd after Kaidan and Shepard's first meeting; the 3rd and 4th right before and right after the Citadel is taken the first time. As a reminder, Thane used the pseudonym Tannor Nuara while at the hospital.) Thanks for reading!
1. Chapter 1

"Who are you?"

The man stepped forward—Kaidan was pretty sure it was a man, at any rate, though his knowledge of drell physiology was forever shoddy. He tried to sit up to face the newcomer, felt the birthing of a million hotspots around his implant, and sank back down with a groan. Robots. Next time he saw a robot he'd—damn. At this rate he'd probably just fall down at it.

"Tannor Nuara. I'm a regular patient here. One of the nurses suggested I keep you company."

It took Kaidan a moment to process; Tannor's voice came in oddly through the translator, gargled somehow. "Ah. Well. I guess that's one way of staving off cabin fever."

"It is no trouble." The drell sat in the chair Kaidan hoped would very soon occupy Shepard; he flicked his eyes to the door, coloring slightly when the drell traced his glance.

"Um. So. What brings you here?"

The drell rested his elbows on his knees and steepled his hands. "I have a terminal disease. I am in the final stages and require daily treatment to reduce the discomfort."

Kaidan closed his eyes. Maybe one day he'd get a hold of his rampant awkwardness—or, if the Reapers had their way, daily social interactions would be reduced to the battlefield. He'd be a goddamn prince-charming, then. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It is something I have come to a relative peace with."

Kaidan squeezed his eyes tighter, longing to release the pressure building up behind them. "You've had it for some time then."

"Yes. I'm sorry—do you need to rest?"

Probably, but if he rested he would miss Shepard. He opened his eyes, turning to face the drell. Had he ever seen a drell in person before? "No, I'm okay. Just healing, you know?"

"I see. You were on Earth?"

"Yes." That brought on a whole new wave of pain. He'd yet to let himself touch the events of the past—God, what was it now, a week? Longer? "I got injured on Mars, though. Had a run-in with Cerberus."

This elicited a small smile from Tannor. "Cerberus. Yes, they can be quite troublesome."

"That's one way of putting it. You've encountered them before?"

The smile grew rather wistful. "Let's just say that I am rather close with their greatest enemy."

"Huh." The door whisked open and Kaidan shot into a sitting position, contemplated the new plane of existence he found himself on, and fell back down, begging his stomach to hold its contents.

"Major Alenko, please!" The nurse was at his head now, palpitating all the most painful spots. "I told you that we would alert you of the Normandy's presence as soon as it docks. You need to stop getting so agitated."

"I'm—not. Agitated." His peripheral lit up with the orange of the nurse's omni-tool. He glanced over to the drell, who was sitting in a strangely rigid manner. "You okay, Tannor?"

Tannor stared at the nurse, rising slowly. "Did you mention the Normandy?"

"Yes. Major Alenko flew in on the Normandy and has been waiting ever since for them to return. He keeps undoing hours of hard work by—"

"Jeeze, I said I was sorry." Kaidan closed his eyes against the omni-tool. "I just—I was asleep the last time she came. I can't let that happen again."

" 'Asleep' is a very kind way of phrasing 'unconscious due to rising pressure in the skull.' Mr. Nuara, please don't go far. I'll be administering your treatments in room three in ten minutes."

"I'll only be a moment. I must send a message."

Kaidan heard the door open and close and felt something cool move through his blood stream.

"Here," the nurse said. "This will help with the pain. Now please get some sleep, will you? I'll make sure you're awake when Commander Shepard arrives."

"It's just—I want her to know I'm okay. She worries about her soldiers."

He could feel the nurse smirking even though he kept his eyes shut; she was definitely a smirker, this one. "I cast no judgments, Major, though I did hear a rumor that she was in a relationship with a famous, unknown assassin. Though how you can be both famous and unknown is a mystery to me."

That got his eyes open. "What?"

The nurse was indeed smirking, though in a surprisingly benevolent way. "It was all over the gossip sites. You know, back when she worked with Cerberus? Apparently one of the Cerberus members stationed on her ship was an assassin and romance ensued." The smirk dropped the longer she looked at Kaidan's face. "It's just a rumor, Major."

His eyes dropped back closed. She wouldn't. Not after everything they'd survived. "Of course. I think I'll sleep now."

"Good. Buzz if you need anything."

He opened his eyes as soon as she left the room. There was a terminal just out of reach on a table behind him; unfortunately his omni-tool was on the table beside it. He tried to reach out with his biotics and immediately regretted it, actually wondering whether he should call the nurse in to save him from his skull splitting open. The pain began to pass as he lay there, panicking.

Shepard loved him. He knew it. She'd told him as much on Mars, more or less. Right?

He pushed himself up slowly, the pain in his head bliss in comparison to what his biotics had brought on. He didn't think he could stand—the staff would have a field day if they found him face-down on the floor—so he slid back along the bed until he could reach the terminal. He yanked it off the table, wobbled, and scooted back down, resting the terminal on his stomach. Mission accomplished.

He gave himself a moment to regroup before logging in and shooting off a message to Shepard. He was tired of waiting; there was no shame in directly asking that she come. She loved him-he knew it. It was the one goddamn thing he could be sure about her.

His eyes began to drift closed. He let them, not caring about what the nurse would do when she discovered the terminal resting atop him. Maybe he'd get lucky and they'd kick him out for being difficult.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey—Tannor!"

The drell turned from the bay window, arms clasped behind his back. He looked worse than he had a week ago, a little redder around the—were those gills?

"Major Alenko. I hear congratulations are in order."

"The staff have been talking, huh? Well, I haven't accepted Spectre status yet. We'll see." Kaidan dropped rather unceremoniously into one of the two chairs. It was good to be allowed into the patient lounge, even if he had to wear hospital garb. Soon he'd be back into his own clothes and back into action—or so everyone promised him. "How are you?"

Tannor took the other chair, leaning forward on its edge. "I am as I should be. It won't be much longer now."

Kaidan looked down at his hands. What was it like, having a countdown on your life? Hell, perhaps they all had it, with the Reapers pouring in. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"As am I."

A flock of birds flew by the window. It was strange, this peacefulness, especially in a hospital. Other hospitals in the galaxy were likely soaked through with blood. "Are you leaving behind any family?"

Tannor nodded. "A son. There is also a woman I love. I—" He sat back, giving into a bout of coughing. "Well," he said at last, "it's simple enough to say that they are the sole source of my reluctance to go."

"I understand."

"In all honesty I do not fear for my son so much as I fear for—well. It is of no matter. I suppose it means I am terribly selfish." Tannor offered him a weak smile. "I am sorry; I see you for the second time and I unload my greatest fears. Death works oddly on one's mind."

Kaidan shook his head. "It's fine. I can't say I understand how you must feel—I've only ever been on the losing end. But, I can imagine it works both ways."

"Yes." Tannor's eyes took on a fevered glaze. "It is as though the very peace in my soul has been ripped away—as though I am denied the calm honor of my passing simply because I would kill to have a life with her. A real life—a long life for both of us. A life free of—of all this."

Kaidan nodded. "Now that feeling I know quite well."

Tannor glanced at him, eyes narrowed slightly. "The...nurses say you are involved with Commander Shepard. I would imagine that such a relationship would result in such sentiment."

Damned nurses. "No—no, I wouldn't go that far. Maybe once. Maybe again one day. I don't know. It doesn't seem right to think about given the state of the galaxy, you know?" And given the fact that he felt a queasy combination of rage and heartache anytime he thought of it. So much for Shepard loving him. He sighed. That wasn't fair. It was his own damn fault for what he had said on Horizon—and hers for joining Cerberus. At least they were both confused, even if she still loved some Cerberus assassin.

Tannor nodded, eyes again turning to the bay window. "Indeed. But I have learned the lesson that setting aside that which is closest to your heart always ends painfully."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Not much I can do about it while I'm stuck here, though."

A silence stretched between them. Kaidan liked Tannor despite himself—befriending a dying man was pure idiocy, but there was something to Tannor that made him impossible to turn away. He supposed it was all in the drell's history; Kaidan had always been drawn to impossibly complicated individuals. Hell, Shepard could be their queen.

"I've met the Commander."

That was news. "Really? Where?"

The drell smiled, and in that smile there was a faint sadness. "When she was fighting the Collectors. I was a stronger man, then. We ran a few missions together. She seems a remarkable woman."

Despite the rage and the heartbreak a smile bloomed on Kaidan's face—every time. She still got him every time. "She is. She really is." He shook the grin away—so foolish. "What was it you did? To help her?"

Tannor shrugged. "The hanar choose promising young drell to become their agents, to interact with the galaxy in ways the hanar cannot. I was once chosen for such an honor and was thus able to help the Commander when the opportunity arose. I was able to provide a good amount of intel and resources."

"I am surprised you chose to help Cerberus."

"I did not choose to help Cerberus. I chose to fight Collectors."

Christ, Shepard would love this guy. Hell, they probably made great pals on the few missions they had. "Did you come to know her well? Were you on many missions?"

The drell leaned forward; Kaidan tried to read the look on his face but Tannor turned his head away. "I came to know her well enough that I question how she will manage. The Reapers, the warring between the races, the destruction of her home planet. I question how she will deal with it."

So Tannor didn't know her that well after all. "Shepard will get it done. She always does."

"You misunderstand me. I do not question whether she will accomplish the impossible; I question what it will do to her soul. I question whether she will sleep at night. I question whether she feels incredibly alone."

"She has many people that care for her. She is not alone."

Tannor stood, moving closer to the window and turning his back on Kaidan. "Yes, but what will happen to her when those people die?"

Kaidan thought this over. It was a fair question and a frightening one, possible as it seemed. What would happen if Liara died—or Garrus? What would Shepard have done if she had survived the Normandy's explosion in a more...conventional sort of way? Kaidan shook his head. "We won't die—we'll fight through. I got better here, and others are already on the Normandy, keeping her strong. We're all fighting beside her, Tannor. You don't have to worry about Commander Shepard failing you. She will stop the Reapers. It's what she does—she'll secure the galaxy for your son and the woman you love. It's her purpose in life, helping people like you."

Tannor nodded sharply, his hands tightening behind his back. "Yes. I suppose you are correct. It is good to know that she will have someone like you beside her when things become difficult."

"I hope so." If he rejoined the Normandy—if Shepard was truly removed from Cerberus. There was so much uncertainty; hell, he still had to decide on becoming a Spectre.

"I hope so as well." Tannor hung his head for a moment. "I may have—I believe that I should confess something—"

"Father?"

Kaidan started at the voice, twisting around to see a second drell approaching them. Kaidan rose to his feet, fighting off the vague dizziness that followed.

Tannor kept his back turned. "Kolyat. Major, this is my son."

"Nice to meet you, Kolyat."

The other drell nodded and returned Kaidan's handshake. "Major Alenko. My father has mentioned you."

"Favorably, I hope."

Kolyat nodded, his concern drifting to his father. "Always. If you'll excuse me." Kolyat moved towards Tannor, resting a hand on his father's shoulder. "Father, are you alright? Why are you cr—"

Tannor straightened. "Let's go, Kolyat. I only have an hour before treatments and I promised you lunch." He glanced towards Kaidan. "A pleasure as always, Major. I apologize for the gravitas of today's meeting."

Kaidan shook his head, waving his hand dismissively. If anyone needed a shoulder it was this guy. "No, I understand. I really do. Anytime you need to talk."

"Thank you, Major. Until next time."

A thought struck Kaidan as he watched them begin to depart, Kolyat's arm over his father's shoulders. Kaidan hurried to catch up to them. "Wait, Tannor—what was it you wanted to confess?"

Kolyat's eyes widened. "Father—"

Tannor took a deep breath, coughing rather calmly into his fist. "I wished merely to confess my belief that the greatest heroes are only as strong as the people they love. It is a truth that applies to any individual, but to heroes most of all." For a moment Tannor looked incredibly sad; a bout of coughing washed it away. "I beg you to remember this belief whenever you turn your mind to Commander Shepard. You seem to be a good man, Major Alenko. An exceptional one, perhaps. She will need someone like you."

"I—" Kaidan looked at Tannor and his son. What was there to say? "Of course, Tannor. Thank you."

Tannor nodded. "And congratulations again on your Spectre nomination. Until next time, Major."

"Goodbye, Tannor."

Kaidan wandered back to his room, feeling more worn out than a spell in a comfortable chair merited. Poor Tannor—poor Kolyat. He wondered if Kolyat would get the same disease Tannor had, or if Tannor's lover had it as well. Was it something all drell came to suffer from? Kaidan would have to look it up on the extranet later—now he would rest.

He lay back on his bed and closed his eyes. He would become a Spectre. How could he say no to those resources? They'd be invaluable in the war; there was literally no other way he could obtain such status and ability. And if he chose to rejoin Shepard, well, two Spectres had to be better than one.

And hell, maybe Tannor was right. Kaidan would email Shepard after officially accepting Udina's offer. Maybe he'd ask her if he could rejoin the Normandy after getting all his ducks in a row; he still had his students to track down, even if the doctors wanted him to rest.

Poor Tannor—hell, even that was an understatement. What would it be like to feel your life slipping away? Had Shepard felt that when she died? Did she remember it now, whatever she was?

He squeezed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Rest. All he could do was rest and hope his body would sense his urgency to heal.


	3. Chapter 3

Freedom was actually at his fingertips. The scan beeped, simultaneously filing Kaidan's record and releasing him from the hospital's clutches. Now all he had to do was visit Spectre Requisitions and call Admiral Hackett. It would only be hours before he'd be back where it mattered.

Tannor was in his usual spot by the windows, though he was sitting back in the chair, a little more exhausted looking than usual. Kaidan sauntered over, taking the empty seat.

Tannor nodded in Kaidan's direction. "Hello, Major. Have they released you?"

"That they have."

"Excellent." The drell fell into a bout of coughing, ending it with a grunt of frustration. "I'm sorry. I've just had my treatments—they make me feel a little off."

"No apology necessary." Kaidan wished he had something to give Tannor in remembrance, but giving a memento to a dying man seemed somewhat cruel. "Are the treatments painful?"

"No more than the disease itself." The drell smiled. "I believe that is the most piteous thing I have ever said."

Kaidan gave a little laugh. "Well, we all deserve some self-pity, now and then."

"That we do." Tannor leaned forward, seeming a little more himself. "It occurs to me that we may not meet again. I wish to thank you for your friendship. It has been most heartening."

What could he say to that? "No, I should be thanking—"

Suddenly Kaidan was on the floor. People around him were screaming; outside the windows a ball of fire rose up from the gardens. Kaidan pushed himself up and helped Tannor to his feet. On cue the crisis alarms began to ring; a Cerberus shuttle whizzed by the window.

"Cerberus!" The shouts rose around him as people began to panic. Kaidan was pushed about by the crowd, Tannor's arm torn from his grasp.

A doctor stood on a chair. "SILENCE!" The man spoke into his omni-tool, nodding as people snapped towards momentary clarity. "I need you all to proceed calmly into the center of the hospital. We can lock the hospital down. I repeat—proceed calmly. There is no need for alarm." Amazingly the people heeded the doctor's words, moving forward at a steady, if quick pace.

"Arashu, it is working." Tannor reappeared at Kaidan's side just as the sirens cut off. The drell's eyes snapped to the speakers in the ceiling. "Those sirens originate in C-Sec. If they were cut off it can only mean that Cerberus has gotten the upper-hand."

Kaidan frowned as people bumped past them, a little more hurried in the silence. "I have to get to Spectre Requisitions and to the Councilors."

Tannor nodded. "I can get to C-Sec and—"

"No. Get inside the hospital, Tannor. Now." Kaidan pushed against the current of bodies, glancing back once in the confines of the elevator. Tannor had vanished; at least he had heeded Kaidan's command.

Kaidan punched the button on the elevator. It was time to remind his enemies of what his biotics could do.


	4. Chapter 4

The only thing more nerve-wracking than herding the councilors away from Cerberus, Kaidan surmised, was standing about in a room after the threat had passed. C-Sec had yet to send the official all-clear, literally scouring the pores of the Citadel for remaining agents. Until then the Councilors were penned up in the asari's office to think about how important they were.

The salarian councilor was in a state—though given the circumstances Kaidan was amazed that the others were so calm. The other Spectre in the room—Bau, he thought—was just as calm as the remaining two councilors, as though Cerberus breaking into the Citadel was merely an insult, nothing more. As though it was every day that Commander Shepard shot down Councilor Udina—as though it was every day Kaidan stared down the wrong end of Shepard's gun. They all seemed cool and collected, save for the salarian and the thoughts within Kaidan's head.

And here he'd thought he was tough as nails. Second Human Spectre, indeed.

"I'm telling you, Bau—I want him healed! The highest level of attention! The most expensive medicine!" Councilor Valern was actually waving his hands in the air, bringing them down in sharp punctuation. "He's a hero!" Bau made a helpless motion with his shoulders, glancing at Kaidan for clarity. Kaidan returned the shrug; the salarian had been raving about his hero ever since returning to the group. It was hard to get anything coherent from all the shouting.

"Shut up, will you?" The turian spoke from what could only be described as a furious sulk, eyes locked on the floor. "We've had enough loud noise for one day."

"Sparatas, please." The asari turned her gaze to the salarian, attempting to spread her palms. "Be calm, Valern. Shouting like this will do nothing for him now." The asari flinched and rubbed her elbow; Kaidan had to admit that Udina had thrown her down rather hard. She'd probably never hit the ground like that in her life—or maybe she had. Kaidan sighed and checked his rifle. Hell if he knew—all he could focus on was the sudden hole that had blossomed in Udina's chest.

"Do not try to calm me, Tevos—no, don't you dare try to calm me! That could have been me with a sword in my stomach! No—I want him to receive the highest accommodations. Dammit, make them hurry the systems back online! How many drell can there possibly be on the Citadel? What if he needs a donor—a transplant! Get me resources!"

Kaidan had the sudden sensation of ice spreading through his stomach. "This hero, sir—he's a drell?"

"Yes! Yes! He was horribly—"

Kaidan snapped his gun onto his back. "Bau, can you handle this? I'll check in on Huerta Memorial, see if there's a drell there."

"Thank the goddess," Tevos murmured, cutting in over Bau's response. "Go, please. Message us with anything you hear."

"Hurry!" Valern moved as though to shove Kaidan out the door but Kaidan was already on his way, long strides launching him down the smoking hallways. He eyed a civilian looking warily from her car to the hectic byways, as though calculating the amount of Cerberus shuttles that could cloak themselves in traffic.

"Ma'am—I'm sorry. I need to seize your vehicle. Spectre business."

"What? You can't—"

Kaidan narrowed his eyes, calling on the voice he'd used with his more troublesome students. "It's an emergency, ma'am."

The car's door beeped open and Kaidan sped towards the hospital, torn between his amazement of the wreckage below him and a vague sense of sheepishness. There was no way the drell was Tannor. When Kaidan had left him the drell had been hard pressed to walk around, let alone save a councilor. Nonetheless he felt pressed by an acute terror, the image of the hole in Udina's chest matching one in Tannor's stomach.

He abandoned the car outside of the hospital. Huerta Memorial likely looked like all the other galactic hospitals now; parts of the floor were slick with blood, the cries of too many people in pain forming a sharp chorus. Kaidan waded into the fray, searching for someone to give him answers. Finally he snagged a doctor by the shoulder, ignoring the furious look this merited.

"I'm looking for an injured drell—"

"Back there, in intensive." The doctor shook Kaidan off in a way that would impress any soldier, leaving him to fend for himself.

The smell in the heart of the hospital was—not unlike any other. No, it was like that of a battlefield, once the carnage was completed but still fresh. Kaidan eyed a lone doctor looking at a datapad and descended upon him, refraining, this time, from physical contact. "Excuse me. I am looking for a drell. Tannor Nuara. He's a regular—"

The doctor winced under Kaidan's words, looking up reluctantly. "I'm sorry. You just missed him."

There was no ice in Kaidan's stomach now, no fear creeping up his spine. He felt an odd wave of nothingness. "You mean?"

"I'm afraid so." The doctor glanced at the door behind Kaidan. "The surgery went well—we were able to patch everything up. He'd lost too much blood, however, and given his condition..." The doctor trailed off, glancing off as a nurse hailed him. "I'm very sorry. His family is in with him now. Perhaps it is best to wait for them to finish their goodbyes."

Kaidan watched the doctor move away. He could hear it now, a sharp cry of loss emanating from the door behind him. It was a sound he had known all too well himself, once, ripping from his chest at the sight of an unforgiving escape pod.

He moved to the side window, hoping, if anything, for a final glance of his friend. Tannor looked peaceful, head turned towards the large windows facing the Citadel gardens, hands folded gracefully on his chest. Kolyat had his head bowed in prayer, his arm around the shaking shoulders of a crying human woman.

The woman was Shepard. The world went silent for a moment, and dim. Kaidan was sure he felt himself die a little, separated as he was from everything he knew.

And then everything was normal. The sounds returned, the smells. Kaidan reached out for a sense of anger and betrayal that was not there. He stared at this woman he knew, watching her go through the harried motions of composure, taking deep, desperate breaths as she scrubbed away a few errant tears. Her motions were once his, and—oddly, cruelly—he had never felt so close to her as he did in this moment. She glanced up and he moved away before she could see him, fleeing the hospital and its stench.

Now Shepard would understand exactly what he had gone through. It was a disgusting, hateful thought. It did nothing to alleviate the sadness within him, nothing to alleviate the vague sense of guilt he felt for Tannor's death. If Tannor had only told him—

But speculations were pointless.

Kaidan took the car back to its owner's location, locking the keys inside when he didn't see her. He called Bau on his omni-tool, delivering the news in short, clipped phrases. Then he turned on his heel and headed towards the Normandy. There was no question of where he was needed now. He loved Shepard, regardless of anything. There was no way he would let her go through this alone.

He removed his gear before entering the Normandy's airlock, placing the pile behind his feet. It was odd even being in the airlock; already memories were blooming before him. He felt a moment's consternation for all the familiar faces he would see, all the explanations he'd have to make. The adrenaline of Mars was long gone; Garrus, he knew, would want more than a few answers and Joker was likely to ream him a new one. It would be best, perhaps, to simply accept Hackett's offer, to leave behind the squad—to avoid any and everything having to do with Tannor and Shepard. He could walk away now, shoot off a message and go. He sighed, steeling himself; it would be easy, but it would be wrong.

Kaidan closed his eyes and began to wait. There were some things, he knew, that a person just had to do.


End file.
